Moan for me like Helen Keller
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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