I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize