He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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