its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
