He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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