I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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