i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
His hands were made for my vagina.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
