She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i will never coherently bang her
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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