I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
