HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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