New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
