Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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