OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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