Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
wow bdsm is so cute
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
