so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
