Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
