I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
