i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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