sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
