i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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