My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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