OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
