Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize