foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
