You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
