I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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