that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
