Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize