I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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