I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
