he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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