so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
