did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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