you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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