I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
