My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I want a musical about memes.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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