i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Be still, my beating vagina.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
