at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
