walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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