shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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