where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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