I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
