i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's rum buckets o'clock
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
