and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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