we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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