I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize