Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
