Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The power of my boobs compel you
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
