garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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