he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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