His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
this will be a night to untag.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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