My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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