I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
