he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
