He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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