I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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