In America we eat man semen.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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