3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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