You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
