How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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