I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize