Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
of course. lets lasso hookers.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
