I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
