What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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