on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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