Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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