honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
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