She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
