So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
