google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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