Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
