no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
