that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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