It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
