when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
