it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
