three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
