were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
