Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize