It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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